Cinta selepas Diakad Nikah

Ini kisahku.

Menjaga hati dan diri memang tidak mudah
Sepanjang masa cuba bertahan tetapi ada masa kalah dengan cubaan
Namun bukan alasan untuk terus jihad melawan tuntutan hawa nafsu
Penting untuk tambah ilmu, tingkat iman dan bina tawakkal buat bekalan
Yakin si dia pasti hadir dengan izinNya. 
Dan bila hati tekad berserah dengan ketentuanNya
Khabar gembira datang menyapa dari insan yang sejujurnya paling tidak disangka-sangka
Tetapi tak tahu mengapa hati amat mudah untuk menerima.
Urusan selepas juga dipermudahkanNya
hinggalah pada hari hati dua insan menjadi satu.
Dan kini, dahulunya dua sudah menjadi tiga.
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
Selepas ini pasti masih akan diuji.
Namun ku mohon agar bahagia kekal hingga ke singgahsana di Jannah nanti.

LIVE TO MAKE CHANGES - Part 2

A series of talk by brother Nouman Ali Khan on 

"When Muslims Work Together".

A very very recommended lecture to listen/watch, at least the first introductory video (link below).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XzrY-WXc84

Some of the questions answered by the speaker in the video above are:

> Different stages of struggle that a person may face.

> Why do we have to do extra and concern too much on others while I have    fulfilled all the mandatory?

> Why there are so many Muslim organizations? Why can't we unite under one    big organization? How to deal with this diversity?

> Why it is unhealthy to stick and fanatic to just one organization/logo/label?

> What motivates us to do good? 

The most important point from the lecture that I find very important for every Muslim to internalize is that no matter what have we done or how much time/energy/time we have spend on Islamic and community work, the person who will benefit the most from those work is ourselves, you, me.

We gain more knowledge and skills through experiences, and reward from Him insyaAllah.

As our number of contribution increases, we shouldn't be more proud but more humble because the changes are never upon us, are never due to our power. 

We work because of Allah and to seek His blessing.

Only Allah alone have the power to change hearts and things.

Allah can make changes happen without us and Allah doesn't need us.

May Allah always remind us to be more and more humble servant through our short time in this life. Ameen.

Wallahua'lam.

LIVE TO MAKE CHANGES.

LIVE TO GIVE.
LIVE TO MAKE CHANGES.

I know I have talk about this topic many times before, but I just finally managed to write an article about my view on it.
Enjoy reading :)

Life is not just simply living and breathing.
Most normal people around us can do that.

Everyday I see people, meet and chat with various kind of people.
What I can see is many people are living the life of what others have told them to.
Go to school and college and get good grades.
Find a decent job or further study that you finally will end up in a big air-conditioned office with high salary.
Get married, have one or more children, go for holiday locally or outside the country.
Live life, enjoy, sometimes go to talk or religious events and give charity to the poor and needy.

What a life! 

Not bad at all.
Well. I think that's how normally many people will think.
I was like that until quite recently, about 3-4 years ago.

After I graduated and got my bachelor in Biotech, I knew I love to teach or get involved in anything related to education. But I wasn't thinking about is seriously since I was (excited) getting married and therefore I just decided to do master related to biotech+chem engine.

After 2 years, I am still struggling to love this research field though many people tell me that it's better to have a phD and to be a lecturer rather than a teacher.
With the kids nowadays and the workload, isn't better to be a lecturer with higher income, chances to travel around the world and even got the title of Dr. or Prof. which indicate you are an expert in your area.
Aren't those amazing?!
Yes. There are.

But I just don't feel it. I don't hate doing research and writing papers, it just that I don't have the passion and confidence that I will manage to love and stand this career for the next 10 years.

I am not saying anything bad about being a lecturer or a researcher or any other job.
Each career or post has its own privilege.
It's just that I'm not feeling it.

Therefore I sit down and think.
A few times.
Really think.
I am just like everyone else, struggling everyday to be a better person, to be a good Muslimah, to work harder.
Only people closest to me know how bad I am as a person.
But, i know that I can still dream, I can change and I should change.

Then I sit down and think again.
A few times.
Really think.
I think of what I want, what change I want to make that is significant to me personally and live a life that I won't regret.

What I found and what I really want are:
> I love reading books on children psychology and education, about human personalities, and stuff like that. Basically psychology and education.


> I am a family person. I want to have quality time with my family especially my children so that my husband and I are their first teachers of life, their best friends to spend time with.

> I will be happy if my children can grow up being humans who know their purpose of life, can differentiate good and bad, can think critically by themselves and found their passion and what to do with their life.

> I want to teach and share values of life to my children and other children as well by teaching, create events or projects to improve a small society of mine.


> And if possible in a larger scale, improve education system in Malaysia, or at least be among the people who are fighting for changes.

> I may change overtime and I may further my phD sometime in the future. People change. But, NOW, these are my definition of success.



Well, my point is that I hope all of us can stop for a while, think and realize the big potential God has given us to make changes thus make the world a better place.

No matter what kind of background or hardships you have been through, different people learned their lessons of life from different Experiences. If you are optimistic enough, those lessons should definitely drive you to do good and contribute back to the society. And if you are a Muslim, you should be ambitious and optimistic. Those are the traits of a strong believer.

At the end of the day, everyone is a leader in something thus think what you can do to influence others.

We can talk about our family, what and where to shop, what to cook, how to improve income, where to go for holiday, to discuss and complaint about politics and issues around the world.
But NOT JUST THAT.

You can be a teacher, a lecturer, a doctor, a businessman, a rich man, a housewife, a preacher (Dai'e/Naqib/ah), or anything, but you need to REALIZE YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL, and PASSION.

Furthermore, spend your money for charity is great.
But it is much better if you can spend time once in a while and go down to the ground and meet various people from different backgrounds, have face-to-face conversation and actually do volunteer work. Those will be experiences that you will treasure, plus a drive for you to keep contributing back to the society.


This is a talk that I would recommend everyone to listen and ponder upon the messages, even if you are a non-Muslim.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1W4wv4K8rM

Last but not least, stop for a while and think, make changes, enjoy and live a life you won't regret.

Wallahua'lam. ^_^

The locals were alienated and the foreigners were welcomed

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Imagine.

You were born in a multiracial country.

Your parents were also born in this country while your grandparents were immigrant from other country.

You grew up, sent to local schools, have friends from the same and different races and eat same cuisines that other people do.

After you got a degree or two, you found a job and work to support yourself and family besides contributing to the country.

 You love your country. You love and respect your friends despite their races.

And generally, you are different from people of the other races are only in language, appearance, and maybe religion.

Yet, you are treated as the second-class citizen because of your parents’ or grandparents’ origin.

Not enough with that, you are accused that you will betray your country and other races anytime just because you are from certain race, no matter how much you love and contribute to your country.

Is this fair?

No.

Well, I am not credible enough to talk about issues due to my limited knowledge, but this issue is so disturbing that I want to share my point of view.

The current issue of post-election on “Chinese Tsunami”. Our prime minister attacked the Chinese and played this racial issue to scare the Malays that Chinese will conquer and rule the Malays and Malaysia.

What a childish and immature way to summarize the situation.

It is true in Malaysia that the Chinese is number one in economic and business activity among other races. Whether they achieve it in an ethical way or not, it is varied from people to people and from groups to groups, which is a different issue that I do not wish to discuss in this post.

But, I believe that they managed to be successful in many fields not because the Chinese want to take over the country but because they worked hard to survive.

Thanks to us who treat them as the second-class citizen aka non-bumiputera.

It is true that the Chinese and Indians are far from being treated similarly as the African Americans once were in United Stated, but they were not given the same rights that the Bumiputera folks were offered. As the results, they decided to struggle and work hard while the Bumiputeras are content being honored as the ancestor of Tanah Melayu and stay in the comfort zone.  If this unfairness is practiced 30-40 years ago, maybe it is still acceptable. However we are entering Malaysia’s 56^th anniversary of independence and 13^th years from the new millennium where I think almost all the Chinese and Indians alive today are local-born but we still practice this inequity. This is why they unite to change the system and to fight their rights that have been denied all these time.

Meanwhile, some of us (the Malays) are paranoid that the Chinese will take over the government and afraid that our privilege as the Bumiputera citizen will be seized. What an immature way of thinking. This shows that we are so content in our comfort zone and to travel beyond this zone is unthinkable and scary. Besides that, after all these years that we have been offered many bumiputera aids and allocation for education and business opportunities, most of the time and most of us do not grab the chances, do not struggle, so carefree and always take shortcut and easy way of doing things. Moreover, when our neighbors excel in something, out of spite and jealousy, we talk behind their back, spread rumors and lies or worse use evil tactics or dark magic to send them to their dooms.  

Easy way to put it,

We are the ones who do not work hard and we blame the Chinese for being successful?

We are the ones who do not unite and we blame the Chinese for being united?

Of course not all Bumis and non-Bumis are as describes above.

I do not like to generalize. Right is right, wrong is wrong.

That is why we need to learn to think and to be sensitive of others.

Talk to others, understand their background and circumstances, consider their views, and do not easily judge others by their race.

Do not be selfish, indifference, only care about yourself, your interest and the narrow world surrounding you.

We all are human. How our body, mind and soul work and react are the same.

And some say they want to protect Muslims? There are many Chinese and Indian Muslims out there. Are they not our brothers and sisters?

Islam never taught us to glorify one group while discriminate another, ridicule others, and be overly-suspicious but encourage us to get to know and understand others.

11. O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers.

12. O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.

13. O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. [al-Hujraat, 49:11-13]

Islam also teaches us to help the poor and needy.

Rather than focusing on race and religion but on whether they need help or not, then the right people will get support based on their needs and every person will get his/her right.

Isn’t that justice?

Isn’t that the Malaysia that we want to build?

If people of other religions misunderstood Islam, that means that we Muslims still have a lot of work to do to make sure they understand and gladly to be Islam’s ally if not embrace it.

Last but not least, I beg all of you who spend time to read this view of mine.

Please.

Please think rationally, realistically, empathically, critically.

Please THINK.

Wallahua’lam. And Allah knows best.

Married vs. Single?

People sometimes said to me, "Izzah, Jelesnye tgk kau...dh kawen, dh ade anak" and sort of.

Yes, I'm happy with my life now, with a loving husband, Imran Tuan Yaacob and my precious little boy, Ilyas. Alhamdulillah~ All praise to Allah.

However, the truth is, I have less time for myself, less flexibility.

I can’t go out with my friend whenever I want.

I can’t spend my money to go to programs or additional classesas much as I wish.

I can’t sleep over at friend’s house.

It’s hard to travel for days with only friends.

When I got home, most of my time is spent on my son.

I am not complaining.

I know those are how life would be after you got married.

What I am saying is what Allah gave us is according to our condition and ability.

If you are getting or got married, adapt, be more mature, learn the science and art or marriage, give and take, don’t forget to socialize with friends and society, and try to do your best to please Allah.

And if you are single, you have more time and flexibility to get involve in charity and volunteering, benefiting programs/talk/conference, cooking/baking/sewing/business classes, outdoor activities, quality time with family and friends, and many more.

If we want to compare the pros and cons of life before and after marriage, it won’t end.

Be happy, be thankful, do everything you can do now.

The most important is, read more, gain more knowledge, not to be showed off but to be internalized.

May Allah helps us and guide us in everything we do. InsyaAllah. 

Friends

Bismillah.

It's been a while.
But today rather than sharing, it's a ponder of mine.

Friendship.
All of us have at least a friend.
I am not a good friend. Let alone a great one.
I hardly remember and forgot my friends' birthday.
I don't communicate well.
I don't know well how to start and heat-up a conversation.

In college, I was too occupied with work and 'responsibilities' (and Arashi) that I forgot many of my friends.
Maybe I have a few close friends, but only a few.
Now? I don't know whether I am still their close and best-friend anymore.

Especially now I am married.
I don't blame marriage.
It is just that I am wondering what should I do now...

Yes, life is a journey of different phases.
People come and go.
and love among humans is a gift from Allah s.w.t.
I understand that.
But I am still wondering what are....
My weakness
My mistakes
My inappropriateness
and My words that hurt and disrespectful

And I just want to say, I am SORRY for not being a good friend.

Empty

I realize that I have a  few empty holes in my life
or actually, in my HEART.
Need to go back to writing...
experience, learn, write and share...
It's good for me and readers as well insyaAllah~!